Dear Germany...

If you haven't already, check out Vivian's guest post. I hate posting twice in one day, but this is important, and Vivian wrote the first post, so I think it's okay... 
Dear Germany, I think it's time we had a talk, and I'm not gonna sugar coat anything. This letter might be a little long, but you'll wanna stick it out to the end, because I'm really pissed at you right now, and I think you need to know why. I could say I'm mad at you because you took me away from these people:

 but I won't, because I chose to come here. What I did not choose, however, is the following: 1. Living in the middle of nowhere. 2. The fact that the grocery stores close at 8:00. 3. An 8 oz. jar of crappy peanut butter costing over $2.50 (yes, I know I need to get over the peanut butter thing). 4. Having a bed where not even Snow White's dwarves could sleep comfortably. 

5. Paying more for a 480 sq ft. apartment than we did for an 1180 sq ft. apartment. 6. A full month without sunshine. 7. Kids that crawl on tables (don't ask... my 5th graders were awful today). 8. A lack of any breakfast cereal worth eating.9. Mold growing on walls because of the moisture in the air no matter how often we try to be like the Germans and "air out" our apartment. 10. Grandma curtains. Look at them!! 

11. A cell phone that never has signal. You can't tell, but I promise it only has one bar, and that's right next to the window. 

12. Having to pay $20 round trip to get to the nearest actual city. 13. Not even having the option to go out to eat. I strongly dislike cooking, and you're forcing me to do it against my will. WHERE THE EFF IS TACO BELL?!?!?
Some things that I did choose, but must have been smoking crack when I agreed to them: 
1. An 800 EUR a month salary. A whopping $1072.87. I'm not even gonna say how big of a pay cut that was for us - that's not necessary. All you need to know is this - I could probably make more than that working full time at McDonald's.

source

2. Bureaucracy up the freaking wazzoo. REALLY, Germany? You're going to send me to 3 different cities to try and get permission to live here when you invited me here? THEN you're going to tell me I don't make enough money to live here? WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?? 3. Leaving all my kitchen appliances behind. Do you know how hard it is to do everything by hand? I live in this century for a reason. I was not born to live like a crazy person braving the German frontiers with nothing but a couple pots and pans. 4. Small showers. Like, almost too small for one person. Try cramming 2 giants into one. Yeah, doesn't work. 
Maybe I'm just having a bad day because the store didn't sell frosting for the 524 sugar cookies I just finished baking, and my homemade attempt ended up being a pile of something that looked like crap, puke, or both. Or maybe it's because the students were little monsters today. Or it could have been the fact that I rode the train illegally because the ticket machine was broken, and the guy inside wouldn't take my EC Card. Who knows?! But today, you smell like rotten fish, and I wish I was back home. 
Try to make tomorrow better for me, okay? 
Love Maybe I'll like you next week,
Alyx