Oh, I'm Just Having a "Whale" of a Time

Howdy hey hi ho! 

Can somebody please tell me where that phrase came from? A "whale" of a time? Right now I feel a lot like a whale - moving slowly, blowing a lot of water out of my... eye sockets (that's crying for all you non-metaphorical folk out there), and finding it hard to fit into small places.

It's weird being a whale (aka a woman who is nine months pregnant). I mean, wasn't I just getting toilet hugs a couple weeks ago? How has time gone by so quickly? This baby could arrive any day. Part of me is freaking out, like, Holy balls, I am going to have to take care of another human being. Another part of me still looks at my tummy on a regular basis and thinks, Holy balls, there is a baby in my belly. And still, another small part of me thinks, Holy balls, I need to buy a car seat. 

I'm not nervous about labor - I know that my body was made for this. I know that it's completely natural and that millions of women have given birth before me. People always ask me if I'm nervous, and I think they're shocked when I tell them that I'm not nervous about the act of having a baby... I'm nervous about bringing the thing home and actually having the baby!

I realize this post is just a lot of disjointed thoughts, but that's what happens when you're a whale with a parasite - your brain turns to mush. Smelly, icky mush that looks something like this:

Hey - just be glad I didn't post a picture of baby poop. You're welcome.