The Funniest Pair You Ever Saw

Happy Wednesday!!

I don't know how I could possibly think that blogging with a newborn would be easy, but I did. And I was mistaken.

What were you thinking, Mom?!

You know what else isn't easy? Trips to Target with said newborn and a mother-in-law who is also recovering from surgery. I don't know what prompted Mike and Duane (father-in-law) to let us venture out on our own, but if they could have seen us, I'm sure they would have gotten a good laugh!

Some background information: I'm not allowed to drive until Friday (no driving for two weeks after c-section). I'm also not allowed to lift more than ten lbs., and I'm definitely not allowed to lift Elsie while she's in her car seat.

My mother-in-law broke her leg a few weeks ago and had to undergo some major surgery on her knee. She is currently sporting a brace and crutches. Luckily, she can drive and her arms are fully functional.

see the brace? 

Our plan: We hop into the truck and drive to the store. I get out of the truck, walk (slowly, very slowly) to the cart pickup, grab a cart, and push it (slowly, very slowly) back to the truck, where Becky will be waiting to transfer Elsie's car seat from the truck to the cart. Once she's in the cart, we're golden and will have no trouble whatsoever navigating the aisles of the store.

What actually happened: I spend 5 minutes struggling to climb into the truck (it's a big tall raptor something or other... and if it's tall for me, then you know it's a huge truck). I finally figure out that if I kneel on the step, I can use my arms to pull myself onto the seat. Meanwhile, Becky is sitting in the driver's seat laughing her butt off (there's just something funny about watching someone struggle to get into a car).

the only picture I have of the truck

Once I'm in the vehicle, we get ready to head to the store. We make it to Target without too much trouble and I'm able to slide out of the truck onto the ground. I hobble over to the cart return and grab the first cart I see. I take it back to the side of the truck so that Becky can pull Elsie's car seat out and put it on the cart.

Word to the wise: carts don't have brakes. I turn around for a second to help Becky unlatch the seat and suddenly I hear her shouting, "THE CART, THE CART!! IT'S RUNNING AWAY!!" Of course she can't get it - she only has one working leg. I turn around to see the cart headed straight for a van three spots away. I "run" after the thing and barely catch it before it t-bones the car (of course the owner is sitting in said vehicle, watching this all go down) and breathe a sigh of relief while Becky is standing there on one leg holding the car seat.

We finally get the seat into the cart and head into the store, me leading the way. I get to the store entrance and try to push the cart in, but I can't get it over the metal bump. I push and push, but it just won't budge! I have to call Becky over to help me get into the store. Once we realize how ridiculous we look, we just about fall over from laughing so hard. The whole time we're laughing, I'm practically crying, "Don't make me laugh, don't make me laugh!! It HURTS!!" Because folks, when you have a c-section, there are a few things that really hurt - coughing, sneezing, and... you guessed it - laughing.

Once we get into the store, Becky spends about five minutes trying to figure out why the motorized scooter won't work (eventually a couple of associates come over and help us get the thing going). We proceed to the baby section where it all just goes downhill. Basically, to make a long story short, we run into a lot of clothing racks, knock quite a few things off of the racks (and neither one of us can really bend over to pick them up... even though we try), make a lot of noise attempting to maneuver the cart and motorized scooter, and spend forty-five minutes doing what should have taken ten.

Eventually we make it out of the store and back home, but not without having a good laugh at our peculiar situation.

I'm sure this story is nowhere near as funny to anyone else as it was to us while it was happening, but that's okay. This was Elsie's first outing (don't worry, she was covered with the car seat canopy the entire time so that she didn't catch the plague), and I'm glad it was so memorable.

Moral of the story: Don't send two gimps and a baby to the store - they'll likely cause a scene.