Whenever I post about issues within the Mormon Church, it is inevitable that someone asks, "Why do you care so much?" I'm sure that, after this post, I will get that question again, so let me preemptively answer it for you. I still care because this organization caused me pain - a LOT of unnecessary pain. Because of this organization, I spent years of my life thinking I was not good enough, thinking there was something wrong with me, and trapped in cycles of shame and depression.
I am STILL dealing with the repercussions of leaving the church - coming to terms with the fact that the church participates in gaslighting, manipulation, and hardcore indoctrination. The emotional and mental damage done to me by the church is there, and it's real. So if you are one who wonders why I care so much, that's why. Because I can't ignore something that has caused me so much pain.
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Also... I'm going to dive deep into something that some consider "sacred," but I feel it necessary to address, since church leaders have specifically told their members NOT to talk about this. Many people wonder what happens in Mormon temples, and I will tell you that, from the first time I set foot in a Mormon temple, I was so, so uncomfortable. Before you can get married in the temple, you must go through the endowment ceremony. In that ceremony, as a woman, I had to veil my face. While my husband covenanted with God, I had to covenant to follow my husband. I could not pass through the symbolic veil without my husband bringing me through. It was clear to me that, in the Mormon church, I, as a female, was inferior. And that sucked. To this day, I regret my Mormon wedding, and that's a day I can never get back. I am not alone in these feelings - I know countless other women who were hurt by the wording of the endowment ceremony, and the blatant misogyny in the temple ceremonies.
Today, the endowment ceremony was changed. Today, I am angry. I am angry because, instead of recognizing and acknowledging the pain that was caused, the leaders of the Mormon church are telling their members not to talk about changes. Instead of apologizing for the sexism that has been so prevalent in the LDS church since its founding, they are sweeping it under the rug. And just like the blood oath that was removed from the temple ceremonies in 1990 (look it up), the fact that women used to veil their faces will be forgotten by members, and my hurt won't matter anymore.
The LDS church has a problem. They constantly marginalize and discriminate against groups of people, and then when they realize that it's affecting their membership numbers, a prophet suddenly has some big revelation that changes their discriminatory policies. Do they ever apologize for their hurtful doctrine that was so easily changed? No (see the LDS policy on race and the priesthood - still waiting on an apology for that one). So instead of remaining silent about these changes, I'm going to speak out. The fact that doctrine can so easily be changed and no one will talk about it is not okay. The fact that thousands of women now feel like their pain is not valid is not okay. Instead of being silent, we need to talk about these things.
